To the “man” who mishandled my heart, Thank you! Now I can give it to someone who deserves it.
Little boy
Little boy, little boy
Running from himself
Little boy, little boy
Always hidden behind a mask of “wanting to help”
Little boy, little boy
His arrogance, oh it runs deep
Little boy, little boy
One that now, I could never keep
Little boy, little boy
How of late, do you sleep?
Little boy, little boy
Poor life choices, enjoy what you reap!
Cycles
I don't know how much louder one could have screamed,
Just to be heard but, to go unseen
Only to have their voice echo back to them from the silence
From the inner tournament, the violence
Unwavering, unchanging life, all consuming
It became overly draining
Day in, day out, ever forward, yet never changing
Life stagnating, unable, unwilling to be open for life rearranging
Living in a long drawn cycle of sorrow and pain
Almost to the point of certainty, as predictable as the rain
All the while, still moving forward, long steady stride
Seemingly alone, if only you could meet their eyes
Perhaps just walk alongside them, with patience kindness and grace
Not everyone realizes they are walking in circles, some just need help out of that place.
Dear cowards, 11:11
For those who are too childish and inept to give a simple apology, they go miles… accountability closes distances… honesty is huge, with others and ourselves…
I'm glad to see the practice of hypocrisy is alive and well!
Feel free to keep projecting on to me, at least I'm out of that hell..
You are the people who just lie and manipulate to get whatever outcome that serves themselves the best,
But what really, seriously? fuck the rest?…
You act so well concerned for everyone else
When in reality you want to hold what you do for them over their head, to serve yourself!!
Barely even breadcrumbs of appreciation…
It's okay, I see how I matter to you all, YAY our segregation!
So friendly to the face, yet so fast for casting so many stones
While they're nostalgically hidden behind their glass walls, “safe” in their homes
The ones who hide and run from themselves, to stay clear
Unable to even look honestly, in a single mirror
You can run until the end of the life you were given,
Without ever having truly experienced the blessings that were hidden.
Withdrawal
Withdrawing into myself
It's the only place I'm safe, my slate
Away from all the energy,
That is full of hate
Only I can count on me,
A subject recognized as of late
I'm starting to disbelieve
In things like love and fate
Unwanted, from before I was even born
A wound I've been internalizing
Making my soul just feel tired, worn
Situations and people, their ideas and goals,
I'm no longer torn
The pain, the hate, the hurt that people continue to give
Keep that S*** coming!
They are becoming my own life lessons,
On how not to live
Every slander, and every distrust
They really are the things that make us
Boundaries
You can't control who loves you,
You can only control who you let in.
Eric's goodbye
In the space, the void
That time, that you created
The Joy, understanding and love that was cultivated
It began to rot and became degraded
Alas, I'm sure when the wind finds you, you'll be elated
I never told you a lie when I said I didn't care
at least not like others, never made you unaware
That I'm sure now, you've also discovered
Care is a light word, for a heart unrecovered
You tried to make me into something I'm not, it's okay...
My entire life is that same fight.... fought
Doors I left open, I must now close
I guess this was the end of our proverbial road...
I'm taking my energy back, back to singular hopes and dreams
Back again, to a sense of solitary.
(so much for having faith in you)
My high
When I'm on an emotional high,
there isn't a thing I wouldn't do
to get the people around me,
Ripped and flying on that high too!!
Be happy!
Even if it's just for a day,
Smile
Enjoy that moment, because it will fade away.
Love,
Because we all need a little to get through.
Acknowledge,
That you build your life, continue to do the best you can do.
See,
All the beauty, in all the places of the world that you can get to.
Inspire,
you never know who you could save, or who could be saving you.
-s.hillyer
Stay, please.
Someday I will be gone, possibly sooner than any of us think
Then maybe, that day, you might feel something positive for me
Agonizing moments of self reflection, extending outward for a hand to grasp
You'll mainly have yourself at that time and feel free at last…
Point every finger you have, at me
Leaving, sometimes is the only thing I've ever felt “should be”, at least for me…
Everytime, nearly, that I've asked for help it has fallen upon deaf ears…
And I've spent so long screaming for it, literally years…
Silence, so many years left in the dark, simply searching for that spark.
Eventually I'll find the strength to be alright, if I can just stay another day, not give up on this fight
KJR2
Happy to have had that chance meeting…
Sad that time was too quickly fleeting…
Heart that is silently screaming,
Emotions that are ever depleating
A senario that is ever repeating
Feelings that are written, unworthy of reading
Heartbroken
The sight of your silence
It's deafening to my heart
Reality checks
I'm not sure if I am awake,
It feels like some strange sleep state...
No longer can I divide my realities from my dreams...
Yet still have no clue as to what that actually means...
Perhaps it's all just an illusion inside whats left of my head, all of it..
Or maybe none of it, instead... I'm no longer sure of what's real...
so naturally I now question everything... to cope, to deal
The only thing I've found with that are new endings...
I need to find a new beginning.
Am I a monster? Simply draped in this human skin?
I'm my own worst enemy, almost comfortable with the empty within...
I often wonder if I'm already dead...
If only I could move past all of this dread.
Depression
It washes in like the tides
Engulfing all light
Submerging the beacons
The posts of hope
Gone into the black abyss
To live in a silhouette
Chapters
Certain people in this world,
I knew our time was fleeting,
Yet I had no idea our chapter would have been so brief.
I no longer know you,
But I remember your energy and the way you felt to me.
I just might have loved you instantly,
Forever,
In that moment of time you are frozen,
You are un-fleeting,
You are mine
Trapped
Trapped
Yet with no cage in sight
Shrouded in darkness
But standing in the light
Alone
Even when in a crowd
Silence
Yet the noise has never been so loud
Scared
In the safety of love
Hopeless
There's no help, even from above
Hollow
But with a life so full
Decaying
In this life, repeating, null
Colors
Do you see them?
The swirling, twisting, twirling of the colors
Do you see the colors mix matching to make a picture?
A feeling?
Do you see the colors all around us making life so beautiful?
Colors are all around us, we are colors.
I do not know why we have these beautiful things
Called colors, but I am soon to find out
I know who I am…
Who are you?
Void of Sorrow
Here again, with no surprise
On this course, no way to comprise
Caught in the recess of this dark grim place
Unable to move forward, stuck in space
Strange odious encompassing emotions, will these last?
Holding on but losing grasp…
Life becoming one big blur, feels like a fire
Without a stir
Things growing cold…oh, so very fast…
To become a memory of the past,
Perhaps just a nightmare, merely called a dream…
Could it be that things aren’t what they seem?
Ever growing never ending,
Gaping hole of self-hatred, significant loathing
Heavy hearts, with tired minds
Full of anger, doing time
A ghastly created void of sorrow,
That cannot be undone with time, by no ‘marrow.
Empty
A broken dream in the gutter…
Memories so sweet, rotten to mutter
Sleep soundly, tomorrow will go unseen
Only a hope lingering, only a means
Sweet silence, torment me deep!
Empty love, impossible to keep…
Tear it apart, all of it, from the very start
Walk away, keep that empty heart.
Wisp
Darling, may I be your sweet nothing?
Just a wisp of air, off of your delicate lips…
Warm, tender and sweet…
In your dreams, could I be…
Be, that sweet nothing?